Are You Finished Your Typing?
As I’ve said in many of these Elder Care posts, caring for an elderly parent is not unlike caring for a young child.
On the days when you need time to do your work, they will decide to have a High Maintenance Day.
When you tell them that you have work to do, they will ask you every half-hour if you are done yet.
They will watch you as you go up the stairs, and watch you as you come down the stairs. If you stop to see what they’re watching on TV, they will watch you instead of the TV. And of course, they will ask you if you are done yet.
The balancing act between your freelance work and caring for your young or elderly charge is often more stressful than either of the individual responsibilities. When you’re at the computer, you feel like you’re neglecting them. When you’re with them, you feel like you’re falling further and further behind.
You take a lot of deep breaths and close your eyes. Sometimes, in private, you hold your head.
Yesterday, as I sat down to research a piece that’s due on Tuesday, Contrary Mary decided to have a truly Contrary Day. But rather than just saying “no” to everything I suggested, she subtly defied me at every turn. For someone who can’t remember to eat, she’s really really good at that sort of thing.
After a three-hour session that involved getting her into the shower, realizing that the hot water had mysteriously run out, getting her out of the shower, encouraging her to lay down and RELAX while the hot water heater replenished itself, throwing a load of her laundry in (cold water), getting her lunch, planning dinner and making sure she brushed her teeth, she asked, in the most innocent of tones: “Are you finished your typing?”
I requested, in a gentle-yet-stressed voice, that she please stop asking me if I was done yet. She’s been doing that every since I started working from home, and it must.stop.now. She promised she would stop.
And I informed her: I’m a writer. I’m not a typist or a secretary. Never have been.
I’m a writer.
